Conflict is a normal part of life.  It is my belief that it is something that helps individuals grow and develop emotionally and socially if handled correctly.  I tend to be a very critical thinker when it comes to conflict resolution.  I try separate emotions and rather analyze facts to ensure the best decision is made.  I think this leads to fairness for everyone involved.  It was great to read about other approaches and I do think that as long as consistency is maintained conflicts can be resolve through many approaches.

            I briefly discussed community development in my post on student fees.  Little did I know a whole chapter was going to address this SUPER important topic!  I must admit it is one of my favorites.  I think that when people work together with a common goal it is possible to accomplish more than we ever imagined.  This mindset is something that must be taught not only through words but also through actions.  In this case, actions really do speak louder than words.  This can be achieved through various means such as the discussed living-learning communities or participating in a good-will club such as “Operation Christmas Box”. 

After reading this chapter I am almost starting to think that what student affairs professionals teach students is more important than a professor’s lessons.  I know that students are enrolled in higher education to earn a degree that can be used in future professions yet the lessons they learn outside the classroom walls could be deemed more important in development.  This development I believe is what helps an individual be successful in their chosen career.  Thus these lessons must go hand in hand.

Reading chapters 23 and 24 took a weight off my shoulders (metaphorically speaking!) and have created a new respect for student affairs professionals.  It was a relief to read about how much emphasis is put on counseling and helping skills in student affairs.  I would not expect these professionals to take full responsibility for these areas because I think it is still the student’s family and friends to be part of this area however, it is good to know that there are professionals able to assist students.   Page 404 outlined a three stage helping model that I think is great!  It shows that student affairs professionals care about the student and want to create a good relationship with their students before trying to guide them.  This is a good skill I have learned as a parent.  If I simply try to approach my daughters in a way that suggests “I am an adult and I will tell you how to fix your problem” I am usually unsuccessful.  Rather I need to approach my kids in a way that shows I care about them and want to help them through the problem one step at a time.  The same is true when dealing with university students so I am glad this was discussed in the text.  Advising follows a similar model.

In Ava’s social studies class they just learned about paradigm shifts.  It was interesting when I saw that term in this week’s reading.  In the future I can see students entering college with better cultural awareness than generations before.  I think this is being implemented all throughout the education system and the increased amount of cultural sensitive lessons students learn during their lifetime will continue to develop their multicultural competence.  Because of this I think my girls could graduate university with a competence that I could possibly never achieve.  Hopefully this will create a waterfall effect down through generations in the future so that eventually it will be a basic common knowledge skill rather than a specific area of focus of student affairs professionals.

            Next came the topic of leadership.  I see both of my girls as leaders in their social groups but in different ways.  Ava leads by example.  People are drawn to her because of her great attitude, solid work ethic, and good communication skills.  After reading about the behavioral theory regarding leadership this sounded like Ava to a tee.  Bella’s leadership position falls more into the trait theory…she is smart, quick on her feet regarding decision making, and definitely not afraid to take charge.  I am not sure if these theories are still widely accepted however it was ironic how perfectly they described my kids.  I am hoping they both adopt servant leadership because I try to get my girls to help others whenever the opportunity arises.  Hopefully they keep this lesson in mind as they move through life!

            Quick thought on co-curriculums – I feel that they are necessary and appropriate K – 12 institutions so that everyone can learn to their full potential.  Perhaps this is an “old school” way of thinking but…I struggle with the thought of modifying the higher education curriculums.  To me these curriculums should be rigorous and not necessarily for every individual.  Not everyone is cut out to be a university graduate. These are just my old man thoughts for the day.

This quote bothered me however, I know many people who would agree with it L: “Evidence of a lack of confidence in higher education’s ability and willingness to prepare effective and productive citizens is long-standing and plentiful” (p. 483).  Perhaps I am biased toward higher ed. given my education background and the trends I have saw in the small town I grew up in.  People who are educated are happy and successful with a positive world view.  People who are uneducated are basically the opposite.  Again, take these observations as a grain of salt.  I am a huge advocate of higher education.  I think partnerships are a great way to foster better learning environments as well as increase job motivation.  If student affairs professionals can build positive partnerships with colleagues in the institution I think the benefits will extend to the students and communities as a whole.  I will now get off my soap box.

            And now the big T…technology!  I think when it comes to technology this is a perfect area to let the students lead the discussion.  I honestly feel that a fairly “tech – savvy” adult knows about as much about technology as a 14 year old, if that.  I think student affairs professionals should strive to stay up to date about technology advancements and be able to give students the tools they need to function in the work place.  I think things above this level are best learned through co-operative learning opportunities between students and professionals.  It is a great way to allow students to be the “expert”.  I think this leads to a great mutual respect and better institution culture all around.  Maybe that is me being an old man again but after interaction with my kids on a daily basis this is the conclusion I have come to accept.

Before I even started reading chapter 16 the title caught my eye, “Strategy and Intentionally in Practice”.  This immediately reminded me of a conversation I had with a fellow single parent the other day.  We talked about how important it was to have a plan with good, solid intentions to be a successful single parent.  Traditional parenting situations at least have a back-up parent; if one gets busy the other can step in to help.  This is not the case for single parents so we need to be extra prepared and have a good strategy in place to ensure our children’s needs are still met in the best way possible!

            The seven principles of “good practice” (found on page 289) provided great insight.  The more I read in this class the more I start to understand how in many ways student affairs professionals become the “parents” of higher education.  Not in the way that they spoil kids or are overly protective, just in the way that they continue to provide guidance and structure to help the individual continue to grow as a holistic person.  The two that really stood out to me where “helping students develop coherent values and ethical standards” and “communicating high expectations”.

            The budgeting section was interesting to me as well.  It is good for me as a parent to see where the money is going because it makes it slightly easier to swallow the thought of the huge bill associated with higher education.  I know some individuals get worked up about student fees because they don’t want to pay fees for something they never use such as the fitness center or admission to athletic events for students.  I do not share this thought.  I think the fees are fairly nominal compared to the opportunities presented to students if they choose to take part in the activities supported by student fees.  Not only does their participation make the fees justifiable it also helps improve their college experience, adds to the campus environment, and aids to development of skills such as social and time management skills.  Two great skills that are not easy to learn in the classroom if all the student is focused on is academics.

            My girls love tactical feedback.  After they complete something they want feedback from an authority about to what degree they have completed it.  I do think they could adjust to more formal assessment but I think it would take time.  Perhaps they are a little too much like their dad in that regard.  They like facts, statistics, and graded feedback because it provides motivation for the activities.  It might be that competitive drive and receiving a grade allows they to push themselves to be the best.  Luckily for them they have the skills and natural abilities that allow them to be at the top of the class with a little hard work and determination.  I can see how students who do not have these natural gifts would struggle and perhaps feel discouraged.  I think it is important that every student sets goals however, that goal does not always need to be to achieve straight A’s.  The goal should be attainable for the student. 

As a father it is one of my personal goals to make sure my daughters have a well – rounded view of the world and the people in it.  I think this skill is acquired through role models and personal experience.  How I conduct myself contributes to the role model part, what opportunities I support my daughters through help with the experience part.  On page 209 I read this quote that solidified my efforts towards this goal: “Opportunities through which students learn to construct new frames of reference with these features make for a powerful educational experience.”  This is obviously in reference to a student’s experience in college however, I think it ties to my daughters’ current life experiences as well.  Some of the features included mindset and habits that lead to inclusive and open ways of thinking.  

We’ve moved onto theories, what an interesting topic for a single dad of two!  Throughout these sections I am constantly evaluating my daughters and trying to understand what level of what theory they are currently in and how to ensure they move to the next level in a successfully in a timely manner.  Oh the joys of parenting!  Kohlberg’s theory was interesting…based on the explanations I think Ava has moved on to Stage 3 while Bella lingers between stage 2 and 3.  The kids are just getting home from school and we’re off to a weekend camping trip so this post is ending up short and sweet!  It will be interesting to observe my girls after reading about these theories!